Plans for 2019

First of all, happy new year!

I didn't make any new years' resolutions/goals this year (a break from a long personal tradition of mine). I wanted to try something different. Deep down inside though, I still have that urge to change, to be better than I was last year. To learn more, study harder, do more. But also to relax more, worry less, have more fun. Sometimes it seems impossible to do all of these things at once!

On my other blog, I talked about how, instead of setting goals for the year, I'm trying a different system. Instead, I have a cycle runs for 6 months, from equinox to equinox. The idea came to me after experiencing the semester system at the Grey School. The seasons are important to me, and there are many activities I only do in Summer or Winter, so I thought, why not try setting up my plans and goals around the seasons?

I divided up all the activities of my life (both fun/voluntary and obligations) into seven categories. Spirituality is a whole category to itself. At first I was surprised at myself for this, but instinctively I must have realised that my spirituality is a very important part of my life, and it deserves its own category!

For this cycle (which is already more than half over!), my spiritual goals are:

★ finish 2 classes at Grey School of Wizardry (1/2)
★ continue Rune studies
★ work 3 magicks (2/3)
★ do divination 4 times (2/4)
★ meditate 10 times (1/10)
★ Spring/Summer altar refresh (done)

Most of these goals are underway: I've already refreshed my altar, which I posted about here. I've also pledged to blog more, both here and my other blog. I'd like to write more about what I'm learning. I'd also like to do write-ups of spells I've done, but I don't like to do that until after the effects have become known, which can take several months. Look out for them in future.

Until then, a teaser:

Progress with Meditation

A few months ago, I wrote about my troubles with meditation. After convincing myself that I was 'no good at meditation' many years ago, I'd found myself having to do it for class assignments. I'm happy to report that after some practice, my attitude is changing and I'm improving. I've really started to notice the benefits, too.

I set a goal for myself this year to meditate 3 times a week. Whether I stick to that or not really depends on whether I need to meditate. When I was on holidays from work, I didn't meditate at all. If I'm having a stressful time, I tend to meditate more often. On some days, I even think to myself: "I can't wait until lunchtime so I can go to the library and meditate!"

Since I started meditating again, I've noticed that I'm less anxious and react in a calmer way to stressful situations. People around me have commented on the difference as well.

The meditation resource I use the most is an app called Insight Timer. It has both a timer with background noise, and many guided meditations to choose from. It's been fun finding the guided tracks that work best for me. Not all of them do. One that I tried sounded good: lying in a field and looking at the stars. However, the visualisation began while it was still light and described the sun setting. I've always found dusk to be a very depressing time of day (I don't know why, it just is) so I didn't enjoy that one very much.

Two of my favourites from the app so far are Mountain Meditation by Andy Hobson and Melting Stress and Anxiety Away by Lisa Abramson. After listening to Lisa's track for the first time during my lunchbreak, when I went back to work I was so relaxed that I kept dropping things and people remarked on how my mood had drastically changed!

I still don't think I'm very 'good' at meditation. I can only clear my mind for a few seconds at a time before I start thinking about things again. Sometimes I'll be thinking through things for a few minutes before I even realise I'm doing it. This doesn't worry me as much as it used to though. Every day and every session is different. As much as it's a cliche to say it, meditation is a practice. You will never be perfect, you just need to keep trying. Now that I'm starting to accept that, meditation is much more pleasant and I look forward to my sessions every week.

The Grey School of Wizardry T.O.R.C.H. Award

As one of my goals for 2018, I've committed myself to earning the T.O.R.C.H. Award (Level 1). Each of the four houses in the Grey School has its own award. As a member of the Flames Lodge, I'm eligible to earn the TORCH award. I really think that this will help kickstart my studies which, I have to admit, have been languishing for a while.

So what do I have to do? Here's the list of tasks from the Grey School of Wizardry forums:


1. Completion of the class "Writing and Citing: How to Not Plagiarise".
2. Completion of at least one Level One required class.
3. Check in to the monthly Flames Lodge roll call for at least two months in a row (within the last six months)
4. Complete 4 classes within one semester and report on the appropriate forum thread.
5. Participate in at least one forum conversation within the past 3 months.
6. Take the initiation Oath for the Order of the Dancing Flames

And here's my progress on each of these requirements:

1. Completion of "Writing and Citing" class -- DONE!
2. Completion of at least one Level One required class -- DONE!
3. Check in to the monthly roll call -- I don't think I checked in for December, but I checked in for January, so half done!
4. Complete 4 classes within one semester -- I've completed 1 class this semester.
5. Participate in at least one forum conversation within the past 3 months -- not in any significant way.
6. Take the initiation Oath for the Order of the Dancing Flames -- not yet!


The most challenging requirement is completing 4 classes within one semester. Classes vary on the amount of work -- from reading the material and doing a multiple-choice test, to three or more essays and practical activities. This semester, I've completed one class, with a second almost finished, and a third just started. Semesters run from equinox to equinox, so that means I would have until 21st March if I wanted to fulfill the requirement this semester. That's just under two months away, but it doesn't seem very long to me!

At the moment, all my efforts are focussed on the annual Zine Fair, which is on the 11th February. I was unexpectedly offered a stall in the fair, and I want to take advantage of the opportunity. I also work 6 days a week, so I don't have as much time for my studies as as I'd like. Nevertheless I want to try!

Even if I'm not able to finish four classes this semester, at least I will have made some progress on them, and then I'll have 6 months once next semester rolls around to finish them. I will still have completed my goal of earning the award by the end of 2018.

At least, that's the plan!

Why I'm not into Halloween

When I was a kid, we didn't have much to do with Halloween in Australia. It was an American thing. On the 31st of October, there'd be a piece at the end of the news with people in weird costumes standing around piles of pumpkins and that was just about all I'd hear about Halloween. It was an exotic custom that belonged to a different culture.

But not only that. Some years, kids would come around our house dressed up in white sheets and witches hats. (Never with their parents of course. It was a simpler time.) My Mum would give them a lecture on the Americanisation of Australian culture and then send them away. Any time Halloween was mentioned on TV or we saw a display of Halloween-themed merchandise at the supermarket, she'd embark on a rant about how everything American was over-running everything Australian.

With an upbringing like that, I'm sure you can imagine what I thought of Halloween. To me, it was just another overblown commercialised holiday designed to make money, like Valentine's Day. Plus, I don't like anything scary -- scary movies, practical jokes, haunted house rides, etc. Even mock-scary things make me feel uncomfortable.

It wasn't until I was older and did my own research that I found out about the older tradition of Samhain and how it's tied in to Pagan practices. I also learned more about the traditions of Halloween from a psychological perspective and how exposing yourself to mildly scary things can relieve greater fears. It was very interesting and explained a great deal, but I still wasn't into Halloween. These days, I would say I'm not into it the same way that the Wheel of the Year isn't part of my practice.

I mean -- I live in the Southern Hemisphere. Why would I celebrate a harvest holiday in Spring?

Spooky Cheese.

The dissonance between my experience of living in the Southern Hemisphere and the Northern Hemisphere experience becomes particularly acute at this time of year. I've felt it especially in the last 5 years or so. I think it's due to social media. Whenever I log onto Facebook or Instagram, my feed is literally filled with photos of Happy Halloween graphics, pumpkins, Autumn leaves, carved pumpkins, people in Halloween costumes, pumpkin pies, Samhain spell suggestions, pumpkin spice lattes. (Seriously, people are obsessed with pumpkins at this time of year!)

We can't even buy pumpkins at the moment because they're not in season. And there's no canned pumpkin in Australia. It might not seem like a big thing, but it does have a tendency to make me feel isolated and out of step. (Not just the pumpkin thing, but the whole cultural phenomenon.)

So when I see the Australians around me wholeheartedly embracing Halloween, it's a bit disconcerting. I'm sure that Pagans who follow the local seasonal cycle will be celebrating Spring right now, so I can't help but think some of the people here who celebrate Halloween aren't doing it with the depth that would show a true respect for Samhain. I can't really begrudge them though and I don't want to sound like I'm complaining -- it does look like a whole lot of fun!

Having said that, I'm really into Dias de Muertos. I know it seems strange, having just written a whole post about my aversion to Halloween. There are some key differences though -- Dias de Muertos isn't necessarily tied to the seasons, and it's a joyous time focusing on ancestors. I'll write about my practice at this time of year in my next post.

My Troubles with Meditation

I've mentioned before on this blog that I have trouble with meditating. I don't want this blog to be all fluffy bunny posts about card readings and sharing my latest crystal. I want it to be an honest sharing of my spiritual path -- both the smooth and the rocky parts. So today I'm going to talk a bit about the trouble I've had with meditating.

I must have first heard about meditation when I was a kid or a teenager. It was in the same category of wierd hippie things as wearing robes and eating yoghurt. I thought only practitioners of mysterious cult-like religions practiced meditation. Thankfully I was open-minded and when I was at University, I decided to try it. After all, I was a budding Taoist and that's what Taoists do. Every morning, I would light an incense stick, read a passage from the Tao Te Ching and meditate for about 10 to 15 minutes, or however long I felt like it.

During these meditation sessions, I would sometimes reflect on the passage I had just read. Other times I would clear my mind and try my hardest to think about nothing. One time I decided to meditate on the whole universe, and for a split-second, my mind encompassed it. It blew my mind, as they say, and from that day on I was confirmed as a Taoist.

Clearing my mind and thinking about nothing was relatively easy in those days. I was a University student, doing an Arts degree so I didn't have that much homework to do. It was work that I enjoyed on subjects that I was interested in. I didn't have a job -- my parents paid for my board. I lived in the student dorms so I didn't have much more to think about than what I was going to have for lunch that day. It was also nice and quiet in the mornings, too.

When I finished University, I lived in a series of share houses, which were noisy and stressful to a quiet-loving introvert with undiagnosed social anxiety like me. I completely forgot about meditation, and wouldn't have had the right circumstances to practice it in anyway. By the time I moved out on my own into a small apartment, I'd replaced meditation with playing computer games and watching TV as ways to relax.

A little while after that, meditation started to feature in the media as a way of combatting stress and promoting health. I remembered the times when I used to find it of so much benefit, but found myself unable to return there. I borrowed many books from the library and tried techniques from them, but none of them seemed to work for me. There was just no way I could sit down and think about nothing. My brain was always racing at a hundred miles an hour. I had the stress of work, bills and rent to pay always weighing on my mind. I thought it was impossible for me to meditate anymore. The books never explained that it's a practice. You won't get it straight away. You won't get it in a couple of days or a couple of weeks. You have to keep going, even when it seems impossible.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't be easy, and it wouldn't happen straight away. But I felt like I didn't have the time or patience to keep going. The benefits weren't tangible enough. I stopped borrowing those books from the library, and told myself, "oh well, I just can't meditate." I gave up.

One day a few years after that, I heard about the technique of imagining that your thoughts are clouds, and let them drift away. I really liked that idea. Clouds are so soft and gentle. I started to imagine the clouds inside a sphere. I was standing in a darkened room, looking at a huge glass sphere. The sphere was my brain/mind, and my thoughts were clouds inside it. Occasionally there were vague images, but they were usually clouds. The important part is that they were separate from me. Any time that I realised thoughts were invading my head, I took them out and put them in the sphere. I tried not to focus on what the thoughts/clouds were, but just that they were away from me.

This is a nice meditation and I'm able to focus on it well, but I wonder if it's really meditation. As far as I understand it, meditation is clearing the mind. It's not thinking about ANYthing. Under that definition, thinking about a sphere full of clouds, or anything else for that matter, is not meditation.

One night a few years ago, I was feeling very anxious in bed and not able to get to sleep. Husband suggested that I try thinking about the colour blue. It was relaxing and fun but again, is it really meditation?

Another technique that I've used successfully when I'm feeling social anxiety in public is to repeat over and over, "I have love in my heart." This calms me down a lot and enables me to go about my everyday life. I'm pretty sure it's not meditation, though.

Lately I've been wondering if the word meditation is sometimes misused. Sometimes I will read that someone 'meditated on' a topic. Another example is Marcus Aurelius' book Meditations. In these cases perhaps 'reflect on' or 'contemplate' might be more what is meant. For, how can you think about something and clear your mind at the same time?

Then there are the types of meditation I've read about which can be done while doing things, like walking, painting or repetitive motions like craft. These require some concentration, but not so much that it's distracting. You can enter a mindful state where you are fully in the present: your mind is integrated. You're not "thinking about two things at once." When I've gotten into a state like this, while walking, crafting or even at work, I've found a great deal of peace and happiness. But this isn't meditation. Is it?

By the time I started with the Grey School, my thoughts on meditation were: "too hard, too confusing, not worth bothering with, oh well." But then I saw that I have compulsory classes that involve meditation, and realised I can't have this point of view anymore! My heart sank. I couldn't avoid it any longer. I would have to try again at this thing that I'd told myself for so long I was no good at.

I've gone through a lot of ups and downs in the last few months of being a student at the school, in regards to the meditation classes. Some days I think I get it, and others I collapse into a puddle of confusion and self-doubt. I ask myself: "Can I do it? Am I doing it right? Is what I'm doing even meditation?" Then I berate myself for over-thinking things.

It was a struggle, but I managed to finish the first two assignments. After that, I decided to continue meditating independently of the assignments, because I do know that doing well in future assignments will involve deepening my practice, not just doing the bare minimum to get by. (See, I am a good student!) So I have been using the Insight Timer app to meditate with once or twice a week.

After thinking about it for a while, I think the best course is to just do what the assignments tell me to do. Don't worry about what the words 'meditation', 'visualisation', 'grounding' etc mean, but just do what the instructions say and observe my experiences.

Hello! and, About Me

Hello, my name is Katie. Welcome to the House with 3 Eyes.

I started House With 3 Eyes to document my spiritual path. While I have a crafts and hobbies blog which has been around since 2004, there's a lot I want to share which I feel doesn't quite fit in there; plus I'm not sure how it would be received by a wider audience. Now that I'm an Apprentice Wizard at the Grey School of Wizardry, I'd very much like to start sharing my journey -- both at the School and my spiritual / witchy life in general.

I would probably describe my worldview as non-theistic Taoist, with a portion of Germanic paganism and a dash of Shintoism. Science and magic co-exist happily in my way of thinking. I take my ethical basis from Epicurianism. I've become more animistic recently, too.

(Having said that, I don't like to label myself, because words can mean different things to different people. It's a bit difficult not to use words when trying to write an About Me page, though!)

I'm a solitary witch. I work with runes, crystals and, often, textas and bits of paper. Sometimes I just point my finger at stuff. I do magic because it works.

I am an archivist and an artist.

I enjoy all sorts of crafts - crochet, knitting, sewing, embroidery, and anything that seems interesting. I love reading, cooking, gardening and animals. I'm an incorrigible daydreamer. I write zines. I like tabletop gaming, Pokémon Go and anime. I'm a member of the Spell Squad and the Fluent Self's Secret Star Society.

I'm a Mori Girl. Mori Kei ("forest style") is both a fashion and a lifestyle that originated in Japan in about 2008 and is now gaining popularity in the West. It emphasises attunement with the seasons, modest dressing, a slow and gentle way of living, and a culture of DIY. It's a lifestyle that often appeals to introverts like me.

Where else to find me:
I'm A Table - my arts, crafts, hobbies and home blog.
My Instagram - I enjoy taking photos of nature and my surroundings, my garden and my cat. Also occasionally what I ate and what I wore. (Hint: you don't need the Instagram app to view, just click the link and the website will open in your browser.)
My Facebook page - for my art. Not posting very often right now but hopefully that will change!

Finally, please be aware that this blog is the opinion of just one person. I never claim to be an authority on any subject. The things I write about here are my own personal experiences. The way I do things is only one way out of many. My aim is not to tell you what and how to do things, but to inspire you to explore your own way. If I make an error, please let me know. I am happy to be corrected.